Balance is everything

No, seriously....it is.

And right now, its been a little hard to come by for yours truely. You see, the last few years of working on my book had a kind of forced balance. I decided it would be so annd to hell with anyone who objected.

Yeah....that's not balance and after changing so thoroughly over the past year, I can't ignore the mess it causes. Ignoring the important stuff in life so one can finished hammering out a new chapter or finish a round of edits is not good for anybody. Its bad. Like eating a whole block of chocolate because you can(yes, I speak from uncomfortable experience....it was a BIG mistake I won't make again), it'll come back to bite you worse then you know.

So when I found myself agonizing over starting my writting back up hard core, and keeping the awesome changes in my life from an untimely death, I turned to my husband. He has agreed to be my balance(a.k.a. peel me away from the computer when needed) as long as I will listen when he speaks up(another bad habit I don't miss was me ignoring his requests to take a break and spend some time with him instead of my writing). Thus far its gone well, in part because I haven't been doing much editing thanks to messy winter weather and the paniced shopping it generates at my place of employment, but I'm sure that'll change soon.

Today, infact.

Its a mess outside, but we're nice in cozy here in the apartment with plenty of soft blankets and a cat who is all too eager to warm your lap. Provided you're prepared to pet her constantly while you work(which is why its a good thing she's my husband's cat and prefers his lap to mine). Have you ever tried to type with a cat on your lap? It takes too much skill for me thanks. 

Um, so about balance(which also happens to be a theme in my book....go figure), I guess you could say I'm definetly working on it. Will I manage to do better? For sure. Will it be easy? Probably not, but nothing in life worth having is ever easy, right?.

Right.

Okay, back to work. :)



~Sun and Moon 

Where's my red pen?

Something I've learned over the past few years? 

Life is a lot like writing. 

I mean you can't go back and tighten up the squirrely bits with an edit or two, but its full of twists and turns. It has its ups and downs, humorous moments framed by heartbreaking sorrow and amazing triumphs. I could go on for sometime, but I think you get the picture. 

Life is unpredictable, but wow....what a ride. As a writer, artist, wife, mother, sister, daughter.....friend, I've had this brought to my attention so much in the few couple years. Oh how I wish I could go back with a red pen and scratch out the unsightly bits, the painful and embarrassing, the moments of doubt and bull headed stubbornness where trust and an open mind were needed. I've learned a lot about myself and most of who I am is here to stay, for better or worse.

 Like a book thats been written, peeled apart, edited, and thrown back together a time or six before getting that last smoothing polish, I've been torn down and rebuilt in so many ways. Was it painful? Oh yes, very much so. Would I change anything? Well, I'd be lying if I said no...the passing of my son wrought some much needed changes for the better, but it was so hard to see that thru the pain of lossing my contrary little boy. I see it now and am a better person for it, a better everything.

Like the threads of my life, the threads of my book are finally starting to weave themselves into something a less chaotic. While my new writing pace will likely be slower then molasses in January, it too is better off. Losing such a precious gift as a child puts many things in perspective, from the large to the small. 

I've found new eyes with which to see my story and I'm almost appalled at the stuff I somehow missed trimming on the last go-around. It makes my fingers itch to set it right, but I have to finish this round of edits before I can let myself tackle those wayward bits and trim the excess from my pages. 

Of course, first I need to actually get a move on with said edits. These past couple weeks were busy with my husband's birthday and several other important things, so my writing is being neglected for the moment. That'll probably change today, but for now its all looking a little dusty. And that note, I better go. I can hear my laptop calling my name and there's no time like the present.

 I'll catch you later, guys.




~Sun and Moon  

Where's my jam?

I'm finding it difficult to type when the toasty hot pad propped up on my lap beckons to my cold hands. Suddenly a nap sounds like a wonderful idea, and I'm wondering if I have any jam to go on my buttermilk biscuits.

Yup, colder weather is here and all the temptations it brings with it. I've run chapter thirteen past a beta reader and received the green light, so I'm back to picking away at chapter fourteen. Replacing a phrase here and a bit of dialog there is time consuming work, but it's worth it when I step back and read the result. The action and dialog flow better, and the writting itself is tighter. Not incredible, but definitely better.

I have two and a half pages worth of notes for this chapter and they are pretty straight forward, but I'm also finding I missed a lot during my time of note taking. It has me paying closer attention to the page as I work through each one. To be honest, I feel like I'm out weeding a spring garden. All the little green bits are a bit small at this point and I find myself studying each one closely, trying to determine if its a weed or not.

It can be pretty frustrating and confusing. Thank goodness for beta readers, right? Mine have saved my sanity more then once....what's left of my sanity, anyway.

*twitch*

Anyway, I'm aiming to finish up fourteen by tonight and chapter fifteen by tomorrow night. How I'm going to accomplish that, I don't know. It won't be by sitting around with my hands tucked into my hot pad, or while munching on those yummy biscuits though. 

Darn it.

Wouldn't it be nice if it worked out that way? Indulging in winters luxuries while your book writes and edits itself? Mmm...sounds wonderful, but since folks haven't figured out a way to pull that off quite yet, I'm off to get some work done the usual way. By hand.

But first, I need a snack. Now where did I put that jam....



~Sun and Moon   
 

Stepping back into those shoes...

I miss my little boy, but I love my life right now. He gave me and my husband so much during his short time here....we are blessed to know him as our son.

Its hard stepping back into life though, back into the shoes left behind when we had to say goodbye so soon. I find myself trying to fit back into the old routines like I never left, but I can't. Not quite, anyway. Instead, I find myself making a new pair of shoes to wear through my new life, and while they sometimes pinch my toes when reality rears up to snarl at us, they are slowly becoming a part of me.

When I first got back to my blogging, I thought I'd be able to step right back into the rhymth I had before. I pushed myself to try and fit those old shoes, but I only made a mess of things. I'm different now, and while I hope to get back to the goofy, flaky artist-author person I was....it may take me a bit.

I'm still writting, though. Still sketching new art and finishing old peices. Book Three is starting to poke at me and I already have several scenes and a handful of snippets for it. Nevermind that I'm supposed to be working on edits for Book One. Instead I'm back to sneaking a minute at work while I jot down an idea or scrap of dialog. I should probably do something about that....

In the meantime, those edits are kicking my butt. Right now I have the whole book broken into one chapter per document for ease in editing, but once the notes are done I'll be tossing it back together for the final trim. As it stands now, I need to trim about 30k in words. Its a little daunting to be sure, but I'm doing my best. Book Two will probably be shorter then this one as the storyline is more concise, but who knows. It might turn out just as long. Hopefully Cara won't backtalk me as bad as Shadow does.... 

Aaaand on that note I better get back to work. I'll catch you guys later, okay? I've missed this and I think I can definetly say I'm back now. Its been a rough road and I'll have blisters for years to come....but I'm finally home.


Until next week, guys.


~Sun and Moon  

The happy, the sad, and the strange

For the first time ever, I had a customer walk up and apologize for giving me attitude over something I had no control over. She said I probably didn't remember, but she did and she wanted to apologize.

She was right....I didn't remember.

As I accepted her apology and thanked her, I realized I don't really remember most of my negative encounters with customers. After all, why bother? Its so much easier to do the job if you don't dwell too long on the crap. Vague recollections wander through my head, but I don't fight to keep them there for the same reason I prefer my books and movies to have happy endings.

There is enough misery and pain in life, and I want to remember the good, the joyful, the peaceful, and the just. I want to be uplifted, not morose and angry.

I don't always avoid the sad endings, though. There are a few I read and reread because they are just that well written. After all, no matter what your preference, its about telling the story in your head. Its about getting your words on paper in a way others can understand and enjoy. 

And on that note, I better get to work on my edit notes. This post is already late and I've got my own happy ending to write.

Later guys, 


~Sun and Moon  

Nothing but blue skies

Gee, my blog has been getting kind of grim lately. I really must do something about that. 


Anywho, I've been on vacation since August 4th and I'm enjoying every minute of it. We've gone from having almost no job possibilities to having about five floating around, two of which pay well enough for me to become a stay at home mom-artist-writer thing(note: mom is the first thing on the list, lol). My sister is giving me a huge load of baby stuff(cutting out a LOT of costs for us), and there is still no sign of the dreaded morning sickness.

So yeah, a huge difference from the last couple of weeks. Its amazing how much good can be found when you stop staring at the clouds and turn to face the sun.

Just lovely :)

~Sun and Moon

P.S. Today's title is from one of my favorite songs as a kid. Just hearing it's familiar tune is enough to make me smile. Good memories and blue skies...I just can't get enough :D

No Excuses

I hate mood swings.

Normally I know exactly what's causing mine(trial and error can teach you so much, lol), but lately I've been a grouch and I had no idea why. My house is almost clean these days, I'm making good progress on my art projects, and it looks like I might manage to keep up with my dishes this holiday season(for once). However, the grouchiness remained.

Playing Sims 3 Pets and diving into a huge pile of books from the library kind of helped, but it wasn't until I managed to get in a good solid hour of editing for the first time in over a week that I realized what was bugging me so darned much.

I had been putting off writing time with the assumption that I'd be able to get to it later. Of course there was never a "later". If you don't make time for something, you'll never have time. When I was first drafting, I wrote at every moment possible. I couldn't help it. The story just had to get out, you know? When it came to edits, things were different and I found myself putting them off for a "later" that never happened.

Not the best way to get things done.

So today I'm putting everything else on hold. Today I'm going to get the little space heater and a plush blanket to wrap around my legs. There will be a large mug of hot tea waiting at my elbow and some tunes playing from my little MP3 player with its new bomb speaker. No more excuses, no more "I'll do it later". This is my story, and if I ever expect anyone to read it, I better get it done.

No more excuses, guys. It's time to get to work.


~Sun and Moon

The sky is no limit

Everyone has heard the phrase "The sky's the limit." My question is....why stop there?

Sometimes limits are a good thing. They do stuff like keeping you from spending money you don't really have, or from overindulging on sweets. Its a good thing to know your limits, but sometimes you need to push past them and reach, not for the sky, but for the stars and beyond.

We all have our dreams, whether its a career we've always wanted, or sharpening a skill we love. It could be a simple as just wanting to be with family during the most important moments of your life, or as complex as creating something so intricate and epic that people will remember it for years to come. So often people tell others about their dreams and then sigh about how they might as well wish for the moon. They've put a limit on what they think they can accomplish, and it's sad.

My mom and dad always told me the worst thing that can happen when you ask for or about something is that the answer ends up being no. We as a people are so afraid of rejection, that so many times we've let this fear stop us from turning our dreams into reality. We give up just as the finish line is sight, and then moan about how it will never be.

Maybe sad isn't strong enough a word. To hear people give up on their dreams, however flawed, its heartbreaking.

Keep pushing, keep trying, keep climbing the obstacles life throws at you and someday you'll finally reach the sky. It won't happen if you give up, and you'll never soar if you can't find your wings. Just remember, one day your dreams will be a reality, and you'll break the limit of the sky to soar among the stars.



~Sun and Moon

Say what?

"Choose your words wisely."

Ever heard that quote? Its a fairly common piece of advice, and very much ignored. Which is kind of sad seeing as you can apply it to so much and it still rings true. From everyday conversation, to advertisements, to your average instruction manual, to writing and editing your manuscript. Choosing the wrong words can put you in a world of hurt, just as choosing the right ones can save your behind. I've seen these kind of situations and even been in more then a few of them. Sometimes I sail away without a scratch, and other times I find myself wondering how deep I should be digging my grave.

Seriously though, words can do so much for you, but be careful how you use them. 

Sometimes less is more.


~Sun and Moon

Balancing act

I really need to get back on the ball.

Today I realized its been way to long since I put chapter 27 to bed and started in on chapter 28 without anything to show for it but a notebook page of notes. While this is still work, its not enough for me. I've been slacking big time.

I could blame this on the new Sims 3 expansion, or the ginormous stack of library books sitting in jumble of worn covers and yellowing pages in my art studio, or even the fact that the past few days have been far too nice to spend indoors. However, it all boils down to a lack of balance and I darn well know it.

Excuses don't fix much, let me tell you, and they don't get work done either. Now, I could've buckled down today and I didn't. I could've cleaned the kitchen properly instead of just doing the dishes and calling it a day, or maybe given the bathroom a good scrubbing. There are guinea pig cages that still need to be cleaned, and I've a small pile of artwork still waiting to be finished.

You can't really enjoy the moments of relaxation if you've left things undone that you shouldn't have. For instance, its hard to really dive into the pages of an old favorite when your conscience is nagging you about the dirty laundry peeking out through the bathroom door.

A little balance can go a long way to making you feel at ease, like you've really accomplished something. Its too late for me to get back on the ball tonight, but tomorrow is another day and I plan to spend it with the scent of fresh pine shaving in my nose and the gritty scrape of a comet dusted rag in my ears as I put my apartment to rights. Maybe I'll even get on of those pieces of artwork polished off and still have time to catch some sun before relaxing with my husband until bedtime. You never know, right? After all, life is what you make of it and I for one don't intend to let it go to waste.

Well, that's all for me tonight. Work starts early tomorrow and I've a lot to get done once my shift is over.

G'night, guys.


 ~Sun and Moon

P.S. Has anyone else had trouble getting Blogger to post a scheduled blog entry? Darn thing just sits there...>_<

Keep your friends close

You know that saying "Keep you friends close and your enemies closer"?

It means, basically, to keep a close eye on your enemies because you can trust your friends to have your back. Or at least, that's what it means to me. Now, I don't have any serious enemies(that I know of, anyway), but I have some of the most awesome friends ever. Not only do they help me out when I find myself in need of a beta reader, but they even let me base characters off of them. Such a situation doesn't always come up roses, though.

You see, one thing I've noticed during my writting is that even characters based on real life folk still walk their own road. They become truly themselves and no one else. 

It's kinda creepy.

Now, if you friends don't care, that's fine, but some people do. They see the character, so clearly them doing something they would never do and they get mad or hurt. The friend complains to the author who finds themselves between a rock and a hard place trying to accommodate their friend and keep the story in one piece.

A favorite author of mine had someone ask her how she came up with her characters. Not only did she write a very good response and put it in her FAQ on her website, she also responded to the unspoken question there: what do you do when the person on whom you've based a character calls you out on it.

Quoted directly from her website, here is what she had to say....


I often start with a real person--if not someone I know, then an actor or actress I think would fit the part. It's easiest for me to start with what someone looks and sounds like--if I know that, then I know about the character's personality. As a result, I use a lot of photographs of people or performers. Of course, there always comes a point, as I'm working, when the character breaks away from the person I based her/him on to become her or his own self. That's how I know I'm doing it right. A word of warning: tell no one that you based a character on her/him. Even if you think you've written about that person perfectly, s/he may not like what you have to say, or if the character you create starts doing things the person you based the character on doesn't do, they can get quite vexed. If they ask, lie. If you're a bad liar, like me, practice in front of a mirror. Do not tell them.


I love Tamora Pierce's books and I think she gives good advice on being a writer and an author. Now, I didn't read this until I had already told both people (yes, just two characters were based heavily on real folks) that I'd used them in my book. Neither of them minded, thank goodness, but they could have. I still base characters on real people, but now I'm careful to keep just who inspired who behind my teeth.

Remember, no one needs to know they were the inspiration for this character, or that one. After all, they may not like what they see reflected in the words you've put on the page.

Think about it :)



~Sun and Moon

Live and Learn

The past few weeks have been kinda draining, but plenty educational.

I've learned that a blog entry is more likely to be read when posted at 2pm then 10pm. That catching up on ones sleep does no good if you insist on staying up till the wee hours of the night, every night running for three days straight. 

I've learned that time off work does me no good at all without my husband to share it with me. That book work is best done while music mingles with the sound of raindrops hitting my window and a mug of hot tea steams gently beside my elbow. 

I've learned that you can never enjoy yogurt alone when you have a cat, and you better be prepared to share or face the consequences. That humor will get you more then a sour attitude, and a smile can work wonders. The fact that leaving one project incomplete will only snowball anything else you want to get done, and procrastination can have painful results.

Most of all....never take anything for granted, and always look for the silver lining lurking in the clouds of your day. You never know what'll turn up, but isn't that the fun of it? A good friend of mine always told me that variety was the spice of life. It can be good, bad, or in between, but at least it's never boring.




~Sun and Moon

Love the little things

So, I've been a little distracted lately. Life has been a little nuts(and by nuts I mean really frustrating), and if you've read my last two posts I'm sure you've noticed.

Sorry bout that.

Snarliness aside, I have had one awesome discovery this past week. It almost makes up for all the times I've had to bite my tongue over the past few days.

Goat yogurt.

Yes, you read that right. I'm an avid yogurt lover, but when I became lactose intolerant, yogurt made me pretty sick. That didn't stop me from wanting to scarf it down, but it did slow me down. So for the past two years I haven't had any. Until this week.

It was amazingly delicious. The only fresh fruit and raw honey could've made it any better. As it was with my refined honey and no fruit....oh YUM.

Unfortunately, I kind of scarfed the whole tub in about 3-4 days(what? it was YUMMY). It makes me sad, but there are plently of the tubs of creamy goodness at the health food store waiting to be bought. The next batch I get, I intend to savor.

In an odd way, it reminds me of the library. You know, minus the price tag and the edible stuff. You find that book and you devour it as fast as you can turn the page. Then you mope a bit because the book was just that good and its over.

And then you find that the author in question has a whole series with the same world and characters! Heaven!

That was how I discovered several authors I love and I can't imagine life without their words on my book shelf. Tamora Pierce, Mercedes Lackey, Patricia Briggs, Robin McKinley, Patricia Wrede, and Brian Jaques...just to name a few. Reading one of their books is like a special treat I can enjoy over and over again.

Its only a small thing in the big rush of life. Kind of like the yogurt. Both, however, are well worth savoring. You never know if you'll find yourself scraping the bottom of the tub tomorrow, or realizing the jerk that broke into your car last night took your favorite book along with your purse.

Love the little things in your life, guys. Take a moment and savor them. You never know when they may no longer be there to enjoy.



~Sun and Moon

Win or lose, but play the game

Have you every heard the phrase that "everyone is a winner"?

Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but that's a load of hogwash. Not everyone can be a winner, and it implies that if you're a loser you must suck dirty dishwater to be so bad.

I hate that.

Everyone needs to learn how to lose and these days people don't seem to realize that. The most obvious example I've seen thus far would be a couple schools(mostly for the younger grades) who play their sports with the notion that points don't count, and nobody wins or loses. Now, I get what they're trying to do, but it won't work. No matter that the adults have thrown out the whole winner/loser deal, you can bet the kids are paying attention. And since there are no "winners or losers" they aren't being taught how to lose gracefully or win and be humble about it.

The same thing goes for writing and authors. Rejection is a part of the game we play to reach our dreams. You can "lose" for an average of 5-8 years before getting that "win" of signing with an agent. Then you're back in the game(usually after lots of edits with said agent) and facing more "losses" as you strive for the next "win", and so it goes.

The point?

We need to learn how to lose. It serves so many purposes for us that most people don't even realize. Losing teaches us to grow a thick skin and know that things don't always go according to plan. It keeps us humble, yet hopeful so when that big win does finally come we can truly savor it without making a fool of ourselves. Losing forces us to look at ourselves, find what's holding us back so we can fix it and leave the earth behind as we find our wings to soar.

So the next time someone tells you your book sucks, or you get a rejection, try not to take it so personally. If you can, ask them why they think that and then file it away to consider later. They may have a point, but then again, it may be they just don't like your work. 

It happens.


~Sun and Moon





*Post inspired by Janet Reid. Go check out her blog post on rejection at http://jetreidliterary.blogspot.com/2011/08/please-respond-only-if-interested.html

Research on the fly

When you're a writer, you find lessons in character creation and research in the strangest places. 

A few years ago when the vampire craze was at its thickest, there was a show on tv called Moonlight. It didn't survive past the first season, but it was still pretty popular. So, when I came across it at the library, I decided to take a peek. It was...interesting.

You know those books you pick up that have a really good story line, but only one or two strong characters? Well, that was Moonlight. The male lead, Mick St. John, is a vampire who was changed against his will and wants to be human. Maybe want isn't quite strong enough a word. Its always on his mind and he doesn't care that it means giving up immortality and all the perks of a vampire. He's a very well crafted, strong character and his dialog is spot on for who and what he is. He's a character you can become invested in as the series goes on.

The female lead, on the other hand, doesn't measure up so well. Her name is Beth, and the fact that I don't even remember her last name says a lot to me. She's human(no surprise there), and if she vanished from the series, I wouldn't have mourned her in the least. She starts to shape up later on, but I still wish they'd paid a little more attention to her character when the writers first created her.

The story itself is a good one. With the exception of Beth, who's kind of all over the place, all the characters hold true to who they are. The vampire slant is fresh enough that it keeps you guessing as the story unfolds, and well researched. Last of all, the series keeps your attention.

This is kind of like how I want my books to be. Well, barring the Beth-like characters, anyway. Strong leads, a fresh view on old things, a good story, and no matter what, a world that pulls in my reader so well that they forget to eat lunch because they just want to see how the story ends. I can only hope that my written world won't end as abruptly as Moonlight's did.

For now, however, I still have two more episodes to watch and a chapter to whip into shape. It's been a long week and I'm feeling the urge to indulge.

Also, I just bought some ice cream. Peanut butter n' chip, anyone?



~Sun and Moon

Sanity is overrated

Well, the past week has been interesting indeed. I went from having three followers to having eight, and from no comments to having two on my latest post. From chatting into the void, to having people listening to what I have to say.

I have to admit, after dancing around my livingroom and squealing over my new followers for a minute, I suddenly felt a little pressure. It wasn't just for me anymore and I found myself wondering: will this be what it's like when I publish my first book?

Granted, I haven't even finished the final edits for Book one yet, but I can't help but think about it. Do I want this? Am I crazy? Can I handle it?

Yes.

I've heard many times over that authors have to be just a little nuts to do what they do. If that's what it takes to see my book on shelves, I'll be crazy. Art is meant to be seen and shared, after all, not stuck in a box and kept safe from those it was meant for. The same goes for the stories we write. Now, we all have those pieces that were made just for us, whether its a manuscript that defies all the rules, or a piece of artwork that's precious to us in spite of all it's flaws. Those are ours to cherish however we like, but then there are those we create for others as well as ourselves. The trick is figuring out which one is which.

Originally "New Beginnings" was one of those destined for the shoe box(yes I have an actual shoe box for that kind of thing). After languishing there for upwards of ten years(I wrote the original draft at twelve years old), I found myself thinking of the characters once again, and decided to give them another shot. Now, that original draft will never see the light of day(yes, its that scary, lol), but "New Beginnings" is another story altogether, pun intended.

Whether or not I end up a published author remains to be seen, but until then I'm another writer scrambling to get her stories out of her head and onto something besides the receipt tape from work. And as long as the stories keep coming and the words keep flowing, I'll be crazy.

Sanity, after all, is overrated.


~Sun and Moon

Moving on

Sometimes you have to let things go to move forward, whether it's a piece of artwork giving you trouble, an argument you can't seem to win, or words on a page that simply won't behave as you want them to. You can only let yourself bash your head against an unmoveable wall for so long before you're burned out with a pounding headache and ready to give up.

But think about it. You wouldn't pick green fruit and expect to be able to eat it right away. You wouldn't open freshly bottled wine and expect it to be any good. No one plants the seeds for their garden and then wonder why they don't have cucumbers and squash on the vine the next day.

The point?

Sometimes you need to let things age. Those words you put down last night at one o'clock in the morning may have sounded like dreck as you read them over before finally getting some sleep, but in the morning things may change. Some scenes need time to settle before you see them as anything other then a hasty replacement.

So next time you reach the point of burnout just let it go and move on. We are all learning, and no one said you had to be perfect. I mean, yeah it would be nice to churn out a first draft where every word is struck in gold, but things just don't happen that way.

Nobody is perfect, and no one can master their craft without mistakes. Mistakes, after all, are how we learn.
 
Think about it :)



~Sun and Moon